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Thursday, May. 29, 2003 - 1:56 a.m.

Oh my gosh!

I'm here.

Again. ;)

I got this surge to want to write in here. I'm busy right now d/ling American Idol songs from Clay and Ruben. I love those guys, I mean, really love them. I was happy with either one winning. I'll be more satisfied when they each put out their own album using their own music and not singing everyone else's songs. That's the only thing I hate about AI. You can't really tell how good someone is, until they sing their own material or material written specifically for them. The last couple of nights I've been watching the DVD's I actually own instead of using my free rentals. Let's see- I've watched in the past two days, Drumline, Legally Blonde, Entrapment, Jerry Maguire, Sabrina (the 1995 remake), and Notting Hill. What can I say, I've been in the mood for sappy, romantic movies.

I've been feeling the lonely factor lately. Been buying the Ben & Jerry ice cream and camping out in front of the tv, which isn't something I do on a regular basis. Usually it's only during that time of the month or when something really dramatic is happening in my life. Right's neither one of those things.

I've been thinking about high school some too. I never actually had a boyfriend...but, there were two guys that I got very close to getting to that point with. One, I seriously liked a lot and he seemed to feel the same way. Cameron. *sighs* I was a junior, he was a senior and we had spanish class together. We joked and goofed around all the time. He wasn't the hottest guy in school, but he was adorable. We had lots in common and he treated me cool, which is more than I can say for any guy that I've known besides my childhood friend, Chris. And thankfully I actually knew Cameron wasn't gay. :) Even after he graduated, he came and picked me up from summer school a few times, and we shot hoops together. Somehow though...with me going back to school, we lost touch. For some reason, I feel compelled to wonder if we had continued down our path if we could have actually gone somewhere else. I wanted to very badly, but never would have considered it with any person I ever liked, but him? He was different. I actually think he would have been great with me. I've even gone as far to think about trying to find him.

I must be losing it. Either that or I'm simply very lonely and think that I can rekindle something with someone that I never was actually with. Honestly though, it doesn't feel crazy at all when I think about it. Worse case scenerio, I can't find him, I find him and he wants nothing to do with me, or we aren't anything alike anymore.

Hmm. I actually have a day off tomorrow which is rare since the last two weeks I've worked 6 days a week, and I will be doing it next week as well. In doing this, you would think I have money. Which I don't. Where is it all going? I have no idea. I haven't bought Parker hardly anything lately, some clothes here and there but very little.

But, I guess it could be that I won the DC bid on eBay for Dawson's boat key and key ring. *laughs* I never thought I would actually win it, but I did. It's the key/key ring that he uses to drive his dad's boat in Season...3 or 4, I can't remember now. I'd never buy something like that but since it's actually coming from the studio, I'm not worried as much about getting some knockoff crap thing. And if I do? I'm suing massively. Daizy? You can be my attorney, hon.

Oh, and shots out to her and Lara. My two favorite friends from DC, besides Heather. That's the one thing I ever thought a tv show could do. Bring me together with three such wonderful women.

Now, I'm getting sentimental along with sappy and romantic. Oh well.



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