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Saturday, Sept. 21, 2002 - 2:32 a.m.

I must be truly insane or it's the (now) semi-big bump on my brain that is doing it but I actually downloaded songs by Jamie Walters today. Does anyone remember him? He was the one-hit (or actually, two-hit wonder) with "Hold On" and "How Do You Talk To An Angel" and then played abusive Ray on 90210.

I'm feeling a little better these days, I still get these spouts of pain in my head or shoulder, but my ankle is better and the bruises are healing. They just hurt as they heal. On Monday I have to call about insurance quotes for a car. Oh, that's right, I haven't mentioned that yet.

I totaled my parent's car and my grandmother agreed to loan me the money to buy my own. Certainly not what I expected, but then, things never really happen around me as I expect. I don't say that like I'm not grateful, I am completely grateful. I'm going to get a fairly decent car and only have to pay $100 a month for it. And I'll have to pay the insurance, gas, and any repairs needed on it.

But...before I can do any of that, I'm filing for bankruptcy. The big and horrible B word. My parents and I sat down and caluated that I owe at least $5,000 in debt to credit card companies and if I ever want to get ahead instead of being pulled behind, I'm going to have to file and file before I get a car so they can't repossess it.

So, in the course of over a week, I got in a major accident that has been making me rethink my life, am going to get my own first car, filing for bankruptcy that is going to scar my credit report for at least 10 years and technically be with me for life really, and then I'm going to go back to a workplace that I don't even know.

Yeah, there's that also. My workplace isn't my workplace anymore. I am still working at the same store, but when you go in now, it's not the same store. It sounds extreme and it's meant to sound that way. Kory has pulled computers down off the counters and did something with them, reorganized everything in the office, all the filing cabinets, all the drawers downstairs. I know this only because I went in a couple of days ago and couldn't find anything that I needed. Not only that, but Kory is really the only person who knows where anything is. Saanjaay is able to keep up with stuff like that, he's very flexible when it comes to changes and such. He's still too new to the whole system of the business and he strives to make a good and lasting impression. He's basically a do-gooder. God love him though, he's the kindest soul. Debbie and I, though, especially for Debbie, this is all really hard to get used to. Poor Debbie, she's had things the same for almost 5 years or so and started in the company when Kory was in middle school for crying out loud and she's going through a tough time from what I understand. I hope so, for my sake, because when I go back, I'm not going to know what the hell's going on.

Sounds like the story of my life.




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